I take a lot of pride in doing things myself without anyone’s help.
“I can do it myself!”
Mostly it’s because I’m fiercely independent. I want to prove to myself that I really can do it on my own. I want to give it a shot first before calling in for reinforcements. When it works, I feel great about myself and maybe I’ve learned a new thing or two. I am proud, in a good way I think.
Other times, pride goes before the fall. There are occasions when I should gratefully accept help and not see it as weakness on my part. I can’t help it sometimes. When someone offers to make supper, to give me a hand, I get all riled up. In my head, I sound like a 2-year old: “Me do it!”
Case in point: Halloween costumes. I can’t stand buying a pre-made one. The really nice ones are much too expensive for a one-night outfit. And I hate the cheap ones. Remember those plastic bags shaped as tunics with the logo of the superhero on the front? Not for my child’s first Halloween! Me do it!
So after going way over budget at the fabric store, I made a horrible-looking costume of Thor, the God of Thunder. (Yeah, I’m trying to instil humility in my son too.) I had basically a couple of hours during naptime to whip it together. The pressure of making it on time gave me a headache, like Thor’s hammer on my hippocampus.
Even though the costume was amateur at best, I’m proud I did it myself. It’s ugly, I know it. But I’d rather see him in a silly home-made one than something without heart or without a funny story. I don’t know if he’ll ever forgive me for the blond braids.
If you’re wondering, the helmet barely fits him because my husband overstuffed it. He thought it would otherwise be too big for him. Little does he know, my son has a big head. I know this because I gave birth to him. Moving along…
Thor was his outdoorsy outfit. It gets really cold here on Halloween and I made it to slip right over his winter jacket. For his daycare party, I fixed a quick costume by making a pirate hat and dressing him in his skull bones pajamas.
He looked like a lost wild boy in Peter Pan’s island. Pretty cute!
So I’m working on my self-sufficiency issues. It can often be a good thing to take on challenges, but I also realize that it’s OK to ask for help, or to just buy a ready-made costume, and swallow my pride.
Unlike the hoard of candy my son pillaged from the neighbors, pride doesn’t have too many calories.