My life is a mess. A good, righteous mess.
This sums up the reasons why it’s been almost 20 days since my last post.
My relentless schedule, with work squeezing every drop of life out of my days, drained me of any energy to sit down a write.
I’m actually quite happy about work. It’s been hectic, working on a special project, but very satisfying, seeing the news reports finally on air this week. (If you’re curious, check out the videos here. It’s called “Dirty Little Secret”.)
The more hyper I am about work, the more intricate the knitting designs. As you can tell by the results of the baby winter hat, I was a nervous wreck. But knitting really calms me down.
So for now, I’ve put my baby sleep issues on hold. And I think I’m going to leave it that way. Sure, there are times where I doubt the direction I’m taking, by co-sleeping with my baby, but I’m happy and he’s happy. Isn’t that what counts? I’ve grown immune again to little chiding comments.
My little sign of God telling me that all is well came during a playdate last weekend. The mommies were discussing the issue of children’s temperament and character. One mom related how her sister credited sleep training and a firm hand for her baby’s great sleep habits. Then, her second child came along, a strong-willed and energetic baby, and she realized how little influence she could have on him. I felt so good hearing that story, knowing that there’s only so much you can do to “train” a baby to do what you want. You can encourage them, you can set the right environment, but in the end your baby has to learn it by himself. Some learn it at 3 months, others when they reach 2 years.
So now that I’ve reached this stage of acceptance and peace with my sleep issues, I realize that I’ve painted myself into a corner with my blog. It started off with wanting to share my experience, for other parents to see they weren’t alone in this struggle, and hopefully help some sleepless mom with similar problems with my tips. Now, I’d like to keep those links up, but I also want to write about other stuff in my life and it feels weird doing it in a blog called Angels of Baby Sleep.
Maybe weird is OK after all. So expect new things here in the future. It feels good to move on.
Note: Just to be perfectly clear, I will continue my blog writing here. I realize that the post above sounds like I’m leaving for a long voyage and never coming back, but that’s not what I mean. Blogging has been a surprisingly satisfying activity, especially for connecting with wonderful parents from around the world. The only change is that I won’t be blogging only about sleep. I want to branch out a bit, even if it’s strange with a site called Angels of Baby Sleep.