New Direction

My life is a mess. A good, righteous mess.

This sums up the reasons why it’s been almost 20 days since my last post.

My relentless schedule, with work squeezing every drop of life out of my days, drained me of any energy to sit down a write.

I’m actually quite happy about work. It’s been hectic, working on a special project, but very satisfying, seeing the news reports finally on air this week. (If you’re curious, check out the videos here. It’s called “Dirty Little Secret”.)

When I get into this zone of research, I need a release for my nerves. This is how I keep my hands busy at the end of the day: knitting baby hats.

The more hyper I am about work, the more intricate the knitting designs. As you can tell by the results of the baby winter hat, I was a nervous wreck. But knitting really calms me down.

So for now, I’ve put my baby sleep issues on hold. And I think I’m going to leave it that way. Sure, there are times where I doubt the direction I’m taking, by co-sleeping with my baby, but I’m happy and he’s happy. Isn’t that what counts? I’ve grown immune again to little chiding comments.

My little sign of God telling me that all is well came during a playdate last weekend. The mommies were discussing the issue of children’s temperament and character. One mom related how her sister credited sleep training and a firm hand for her baby’s great sleep habits. Then, her second child came along, a strong-willed and energetic baby, and she realized how little influence she could have on him. I felt so good hearing that story, knowing that there’s only so much you can do to “train” a baby to do what you want. You can encourage them, you can set the right environment, but in the end your baby has to learn it by himself. Some learn it at 3 months, others when they reach 2 years.

So now that I’ve reached this stage of acceptance and peace with my sleep issues, I realize that I’ve painted myself into a corner with my blog. It started off with wanting to share my experience, for other parents to see they weren’t alone in this struggle, and hopefully help some sleepless mom with similar problems with my tips. Now, I’d like to keep those links up, but I also want to write about other stuff in my life and it feels weird doing it in a blog called Angels of Baby Sleep.

Maybe weird is OK after all. So expect new things here in the future. It feels good to move on.

Note: Just to be perfectly clear, I will continue my blog writing here. I realize that the post above sounds like I’m leaving for a long voyage and never coming back, but that’s not what I mean. Blogging has been a surprisingly satisfying activity, especially for connecting with wonderful parents from around the world. The only change is that I won’t be blogging only about sleep. I want to branch out a bit, even if it’s strange with a site called Angels of Baby Sleep.

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9 Comments

Filed under My Personal Experience

9 responses to “New Direction

  1. CJ

    I had to read your post twice. My first reading concluded that you were going to stop blogging altogether. My second reading (happily) is that you’re just going to shift your focus. Phew! I’ve really enjoyed having a peek into your (sometimes sleepless) life and have gained great insight from your discussion of child care/career issues. Please don’t stop writing.

    By the way – I LOVE that hat. I wish I could channel my stress in such a productive way …

    • Oh my! Upon reading it, I realize how you may come to that conclusion. No! I’m here to stay. I’m having too much fun reading and learning from other moms and great people like you. If you were in a colder climate, I would knit Poppy a hat!

  2. CJ

    Oh, that’s sweet. Well at least you can know that someone in Texas is in no need of the hat but is seethingly jealous of the child who does.

    Glad to hear that we’ll be hearing more from you!

  3. I didn’t read it as that you were venturing away! I read it as more akin to when I realized a “writing blog” (which is what I’d set out to have) was about the last thing I actually wanted to have.

    I’m looking forward to seeing what comes next. 🙂

    • Thanks Deborah! I’m looking forward to seeing what this blog becomes. If it’s half of what you’ve done with The Monster In Your Closet, I’ll be mighty proud!

  4. I love knitting for relaxing too – the figuring out of a complicated pattern helps calm my mind.

  5. I think it’s perfectly fine that you write about whatever your heart desires..in spite of your blog’s name. If blogging is your therapeutic outlet (well, alongside with knitting), then you don’t need to justify the content of your posts to anyone. That’s how I feel at least (which is completely obvious in my own blog– I’ve written about physical fitness [healthy eating and exercise] almost as much as I’ve written “on becoming mommy.”) Anyway, just thought I’d put my 2 cents+ in there, as I’m catching up on your last couple of posts.

    Oh and interesting work you’re involved in (re: Dirty Little Secret). What is your role? The research end of things?

    P.S. love, love, love the hat. I wish I could knit. Knitting is on my bucket list. Someday. Hey, if you ever want to barter, I can make some decent beaded jewelry and mail it your way (I’m in CT) in exchange for a hat (that doesn’t even have to be so intricate). Let me know 🙂

    • Thanks Nikki! I guess I tend to over-categorize my thoughts. I was worried it would look weird to stray off the sleep issue. I guess I was worrying for nothing!

      Yes, I am totally behind the scenes in TV. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love researching because I’m always learning something new.

      And yes! I would love to do a barter with you. Send me the circumference of your little guy’s head. I’ll make a cute hat for him! (Though it might take a couple of weeks or so. I have to knit my sweetie some mittens first.)

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