So, just when things are getting better, when my baby has finally cut through a few molars, when he’s not sick, when he voluntarily removes himself from my breast to fall asleep… a monkey wrench gets thrown in.
My little guy is starting daycare.
I’ve been dreading this for a long time, but like an unstoppable force, I could do nothing to prevent it. Yes, I have a great daycare, with a high ratio of fabulous caregivers, delicious food, fun activities, the whole works. Also, I started this week with little practice sessions, an hour at a time at first, working up to a full day by the end of the week. All these things help a little, but not enough to ease him into a big change in his life.
Since we started “daycare practice” this week, he’s been waking up every hour, sometimes every half-hour. The only solution: return to co-sleeping. My husband is worried that our son will get used to it again. I don’t care. All I know is that my baby is stressed out and needs comfort.
And I think I need comfort too. For the first time, I’ll be away from my sweetie all day long. Someone else will be playing with him, feeding him, cuddling him to sleep. Well, not really. He’s refusing to take his naps. The environment is so stimulating and the stress won’t let him relax enough to fall asleep.
So he comes home overtired, stressed, and urgently wanting to latch on and snuggle with me in bed. It’s the least I can do. Effectively, mommy-time has been reduced to 4 hours a day. Co-sleeping increases the cuggle quota he needs.
Despite this little drama, I know I’ve been lucky. I was able to postpone daycare until he turned 15 months old. Many mothers do not have that luxury. Like all of them, I hope my little darling will adjust to this separation and still get what he needs from me.